The Peace Process
The Peace Process is a technique that involves spinning a negative to a positive. Whenever you are feeling any negative emotions about your present circumstances, this is an indication that there is something unhealed from your past. Often times, when we go through something traumatic, our subconsciousness is unable to process these emotions at the time of the traumatic event. We put these emotions in a box, lock the box, and put it away on the shelf. However, these emotions do not stop existing just because we are unable to deal with them at the time. Instead, they come up unexpectedly when we are triggered by events from our present.
The Peace Process makes you take the time to feel feelings and track down the source of unprocessed emotions. By dealing with our past, we can be free to move on and live a happy, healthy life. The Peace Process is a tool designed to bring peace into areas of pain. This may be emotionally uncomfortable and challenging, but as soon as you go through the pain, you can then release it and finally, authentically, move on.
How to Practice the Peace Process
When you’re feeling upset or emotional, find a quiet place where you can lay down.
Become aware of your breathing. Scan your body as you think about your stressor; Find any sources of tension. If there are multiple areas of tension, focus on one area at a time. For example, when you think of the source of your current negative emotions, do you feel tension in your stomach or shoulders? Do you feel a lump in your throat? Are your hands clenched?
Focus on your breathing. Breathe into the area of tension, and bring relaxation into this area. Be as still as possible. Slow down your breathing by breathing out for longer than you usually do. Pause before breathing in. Then, breathe in deeply and slowly, imagining your breath is being sent to the area of tension. Try to savor each breath, making it last as long as possible. Do not worry if this is difficult for you, or if you do not feel totally relaxed.
Tell yourself that you are ready to feel your emotions and understand the present emotional blockage. Make sure you are ready to embrace whatever emotions come up. Act like a parent (peacefully, lovingly, and without any fear at all) saying to a child that has just had a nightmare, ‘Tell me all about it, sweetheart.’ By proceeding with kindness and love towards yourself, you are reassuring the frightened parts of yourself that everything is okay now, and you are willing to process old emotions.
Check in with your physical area of tension again. Is there any judgement for yourself, the exercise, or your emotions? Welcome and accept any emotions and judgments that are present.
Think about the situation that is causing the negative emotion. Tell yourself that you are safe and open to discovering any emotions from your past that your present-day situation may be triggering.
Instead of focusing on the situation that initiated the negative emotion, only focus on the physical area of tension in your body. Keep sending this area love, warmth, and acceptance. Give this feeling permission to be there by relaxing your body even more. When we feel negative emotions and stress, it is normal to tense up — This is your body’s way of physically telling us ‘NO’. You are performing this exercise to let go of this negative emotion, and therefore bring your body back to a relaxed, positive physique without tension. Do this by continuing to breathe into these emotions, relaxing further, and being open to any old thoughts and feelings that may enter your mind.
Tell yourself that you are going to count down from ten to one. When you reach one, your subconscious mind will help you remember, re-experience, or re-feel any memories that are associated with the physical response that your body initiated. It is completely normal to feel scared to open the box to old traumas or negative memories. However, not feeling thoughts and feelings is problematic and leads to future blockages. It takes courage to feel your feelings that were once too painful to process. Taking the time to feel these past emotions releases them, so that they are no longer locked within your body. Only then will you be able to return to peace and love yourself.
When you are ready, breathe deeply and begin to count down from ten to one. At the count of one, simply notice what you notice. Do not try to force anything. Memories may come into your mind in the form of difficult thoughts, challenging feelings, or painful memories. If this happens, stay with the process. Continue to take deep breaths, breathing into the area of tension and sending the area love and acceptance. Do not push these thoughts, feelings, or memories away; Instead, embrace them with curiosity and love. Honor these feelings, thoughts, and memories and allow them to be present and fully felt.
Refocus on the physical sensation within your body. Is tension still present? If it is, continue to breathe into the area, sending love and acceptance with every breath. You may want to spend some time imagining different versions of yourself at different ages, or think about different memories that you know were difficult from your past. You may notice that there are some feelings of rejection or blame between you and your younger self. Do not force the judgement away; Instead, bring these feelings compassion and understanding. By doing so, you will bring compassion and understanding to all parts of yourself, and you will ultimately change your negative behavioral patterns. This will allow you to love yourself and your life to the fullest extent.
Check in with the area of tension again. You may be surprised to find that the tension has simply melted away, and no longer exists. Or, if it is still present, that it has lessened significantly.
Scan your body again. Begin with your toes, and move all the way up your body to your head. Are there any other areas that are asking for love and acceptance?
If you find another area of tension, or if the same area of tension is still present (even if it has decreased), then repeat the process until no more tension remains.
This process can be very emotional, but it is necessary to not push these emotions away. In order to heal, we must go through the most difficult emotions. Do not run from or reject emotions as they come; just let them out. Frequently, tears will gently stream down your face. Our greatest challenges in life are the source of our greatest gifts. By spending time feeling into these connections and finally healing from past events, we are able to move forward into a more connected, whole being. Try to move towards being sincerely grateful for everything that life has had to offer, even in the moments of great pain and tragedy. When we give our past our blessing, we will call love and peace into our lives.
At other times, we may not locate a deeper source of our negative emotions. This is okay! By performing the Peace Process, we are still replacing physical tension (whether it is from a past event or present circumstance) with relaxation, which in itself is therapeutic. Be gentle with yourself no matter what comes up, without needing the experience to look or feel any certain way.
It may be useful to record your experiences in a journal afterward. Once you have gone through the process, you may feel tired, drained, or emotionally raw. You may be more emotional for a while after first introducing this technique into your life. However, it is worth persevering and continuing the Peace Process. Once you have gained some headway, you will feel grounded, alive, whole, and much more open to loving yourself and those around you.
It is completely normal to require several sessions in order to form a deep, loving, and positive relationship with your past self. It will be most powerful if you designate a small chunk of time every day to repeat this process, even if it is only 10 to 15 minutes. Small, sustained efforts result in the biggest transformations.
For more suggestions as to what you can do to keep yourself healthy, you can check out my book, ‘From Passive to POWER: How to Reclaim your Life & Restore your Health’.